

Step 3: Take the Stem Off of the AppleĬonsider this to be the equivalent of castration to an apple. If you're feeble minded, the fruit will own you and make you its slave, so take control of the situation by telling it what a foolish piece of botany it is. If you fulfill this step well enough, oftentimes the apple will spontaneously combust on its own accord. Describe in explicit detail how you're going to break it in half.

Go on, really vent your frustrations on the fruit. Any kind will do, although I personally find Braeburn to be the perfect mix of smug and annoying.
Attach them firmly, making sure there are no gaps around the wrist area.
